


velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in

by mercuryretrograte (brujadelmar)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Blogging, Food Review, Heartbreak, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai, Minor Kim Jongdae | Chen/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Minor Kim Joonmyun | Suho/Oh Sehun, Minseok/Hani, Multi, One-Sided Relationship, Publicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 16:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15004631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brujadelmar/pseuds/mercuryretrograte
Summary: Love is just a discourse, after all. Jongdae doesn't buy it, he sells it.





	velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in

**Author's Note:**

> mild smut! read the tags!

 

.

 

 

Jongdae scratches his head with the help of the purple pen.

“… _Valentine’s day,_ _cute pop songs, chocolate boxes, flowers, dinner in nice restaurants, slow dancing…”_ he types, mumbling the same words unconsciously. “What else? Ah… public demonstrations of affection?”

“Marriage, maybe,” Minseok says, without taking his eyes off the book he’s reading. It seems to be a boring book – it’s about a music software and if Jongdae is into programming, the theory isn’t the most agreeable content to absorb. “If you’re talking about straight people.”

There’s a group of teenagers ordering their coffees and Jongdae can’t concentrate. He’s using his most comfortable shoes and Minseok’s cologne always make him feel a bit better about life in general. _‘It’s my cat smell’_ , Minseok explains everytime Jongdae brings it up. Jongdae sighs. The low light and the indie version of a rap music are making him feel like it’s way later than it is, so he’s already getting sleepy.

“It’s about ‘romantic love’, the general concept,” Jongdae says. “Of course, they are a bunch of homophobes and they would die before I write a simple sentence about gay people, but… teenagers do experiment love and they are too young to marry. I need universal things.”

Minseok looks up. His hair is still blonde like it’s been for the past months, but now the color just vanished and it’s kind of white. Of course, he looks majestic. He’s using a golden eyeshadow like he used to when the three of them were single birds and they went to clubs. But that was like, six years ago, when they were in their early twenties and life was about experimenting and testing new things. Now, the golden is a warpaint, to pretend he’s not in a huge sweater, expensive but comfortable jeans and a fashionable sneaker. A late college student.

“Why don’t you ask them?” He asks Jongdae, winking.

Jongdae stares at him for few seconds. Maybe the high levels of sugar on his Starbucks drink affected his brain, but… that’s not a bad idea.

“Hey,” Jongdae whistles. “Cute small girl with jeans shorts!”

The three of them turn. He should say ‘the one with brown hair’ instead, since there’s just one. The tallest approaches him. Her long and wavy blonde hair is parted two ponytails and she bites the straw before staring at him.

“They’re minors, ahjussi,” she raises her eyebrows. “Don’t even try.”

Minseok snorts.

“He’s the ahjussi,” Jongdae points. “I’m not even twenty-seven yet.”

“Wow,” she frowns. “I’m twenty-two. Shocking.”

This day isn’t being good. First, his ‘boss’ decides that Jongdae has to create a concept for a Gift Store, then… he has to wait for Baekhyun, which is probably fucking another model or at least trying to, and now he’s being called old. Amazing.

“I just want to ask a thing,” Jongdae takes his card from his pocket and rises it to show her. “See, I’m a publicist. I want to know what you three associate with the word Love. In a romantic way.”

She reads the card and nods.

“Are you going to pay us?”

“I can’t pay minors,” he grins. “But since you’re old enough, I can give you my donuts.”

She inspects his tiny bag with her long fingers and clipped nails. She smiles.

“Fine. You’ll like to talk to Yerim. She’s the youngest and she can’t stop dreaming about anime boys,” she shrugs.

 _Watch anime,_ Jongdae types when she turns back to call her friends. Minseok almost chokes on his Macchiato.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun appears two hours later and that is no surprise. Minseok had time to study and Jongdae wrote so much that he was probably mistaken for a hipster novelist. Minseok skipped his diet and ate two donuts. But none of this matter, because…

“I’m in love,” Baekhyun declares, turning the chair so he can sit comfortably.

Jongdae and Minseok share a look.

“Good for you, Jongdae,” Minseok says and he licks the tips of his fingers before turning the page of his book. “You got your research.”

Yeah. Maybe. Baekhyun is in love for the second time this year and it’s still May. At the beginning of the year, he was dating a model named Kris, who kicked Baekhyun’s ass after choosing a richer sugar daddy to take care of him. And before that, he had had a brief affair with a famous singer named Suzy, who was also dating another guy. Before, he dated a stylist named Tao who happened to live in another country. And, of course, there was also Baekhyun’s long time ex-girlfriend, Taeyeon, who was caught in bed with her “best friend” while Baekhyun was sleeping in the other room.

Still, he doesn’t give up. Always looking at the bright side of the things, Baekhyun never blames love for what people do in the name of it. Maybe he should be the one doing the campaign.

“What?” Baekhyun frowns. He’s using his rounded glasses today and his hair is also blonde, so he looks like he’s just a fashionista in his daily visit to Starbucks. “Guys, I’m serious. This is not a drill.”

Minseok closes his book, sighing. Jongdae stops typing. Baekhyun almost shoves his phone on their faces.

“Look at this, look at this human being,” Baekhyun says enthusiastically. “This is no photoshop, the guy looks like _that_!”

Minseok takes the phone away from Baekhyun’s hands and sits next to Jongdae so they can look at the picture.

“Wow,” Jongdae says. “The guy is hot.”

 _Hot_ is just a general word to talk about this man. He’s… well, attractive. But everyone that Baekhyun dates looks unreal. And also seem to be good people. So Jongdae isn’t going to be impressed this time.

“He’s modelling for my brand,” Baekhyun sighs fondly. “He’s just a couple of years younger than me, he has three dogs and he’s… so cute. He likes The Weeknd like me and we—”

“Okay, okay,” Minseok says. “Mr. Tall, handsome, beefy and cute is… well, all of these things, but is he single and he likes you? And he’s not secretly fucking his best friend? Or interested in your money?”

“We just met,” Baekhyun says, offended. “I asked him on a date. But I felt a connection.”

“Your dick felt a connection with his ass,” Jongdae laughs. “Stop going so strong if you two just met.”

“Ah, you see,” Minseok points. “You’re not in the spirit of love, Jongdae. That’s not good for you.”

“Are you two mocking me?” Baekhyun frowns.

“No,” Jongdae smiles. “I have to create the concept for the new campaign for a gift shop. They want to promote themselves for couples, I think. The theme is Romantic Love.”

Baekhyun laughs hard, slapping his tights. His oversized button shirt almost rips with his dramatic movement.

“What?” Jongdae complains.

“For you? They've given that job to you to do it?” Baekhyun shakes his head, unconvinced. “That’s not a smart decision.”

“I call this a challenge,” Minseok nods, offering Baekhyun a donut. “Jongdae has to try new adventures too.”

Jongdae sighs deeply. Of course, they would go there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae has never dated.

He lost his virginity to an older girl in his last year of school, just to know what it felt like. He went to a date, once, but the guy was too afraid to show up, so he stayed there for two hours alone in a coffee shop. He was asked out many times, but he always answered nicely and quietly, _no thank you._ He made out with strangers while drunk on the karaoke. He flirted with people on places. And he loved to hold hands with his best friends.

But he never actually had a relationship. He never needed one. Because he fell in love once and he wasn’t loved back.

It hurt for a while, but in the end, he preferred to know what it felt like than just… not knowing what was to want someone. Love wasn’t a good memory for him – quite a strange thing. Because he never actually knew what was to be in the same page. So, in the end, romance never felt like something he could talk about. Something was missing; he could talk about love between friends, family and even pets and owners. But not romantic love.

As a publicist, he knows exactly what Romance means. It’s just a way to convince people that they won’t be complete without someone and to get this _someone_ they need to be… attractive. And being attractive and available was expensive: A sea of profit.

Half of the products they sell involve getting laid as a reason to buy them. Sometimes the message would be clear, sometimes it would in a cryptid way, but they were selling sex, approval, feeling loved, a beautiful image.

Starting from Engels and the beginning of private propriety and stumbling in Umberto Eco’s rules of manipulation, _love_ was historically created and appropriated as something that could explain everything. Romantic novels could hide the principles of nationality, the new social rules or just… convince you that you need a bigger penis. And please, shave your body and get your vagina few tones clearer, or your man will leave you.

 _True love_.

Jongdae had suffered from a broken heart and he was now rationally vaccinated against the virus of romance. He wouldn’t fall for that shit. Again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s the one talking to the Uber driver, because Minseok passed out and Baekhyun is just looking at his phone and making a lovestruck face.

“Is that Karaoke a nice place?” She asks. She has a funny face, but she’s pretty. “I was thinking about going out and no one talked about this place…”

“Oh, yeah, they have prizes and everything,” Jongdae shows his funny fake medal. “We won three _piña coladas_ every round.”

“You guys must be good singers, then,” She looks at the rearview mirror. “Your friend is… wasted.”

“He’s not,” Jongdae laughs. “Minseok is not a lightweight. He’s just tired.”

“What about you?” she glances at him.

“I’m never tired,” Jongdae smiles. “I have lots of energy.”

“Huh,” she smiles. “Would you like to use that energy tonight?”

Jongdae was never that thankful for his friends’ bad habits, otherwise they would mock him until the day of his death. He coughs and smiles, but he’s too shy, even for a polite answer.

“I…” he tries. “Sorry, I’ll have to… work tomorrow early…”

She snorts.

“Calm down,” she says. “It was just a suggestion. Don’t get stressed.”

Easy for her to say.

 

 

 

 

 

A Piña Colada in one hand and the phone in the other. No messages, no missed calls, no e-mails. Minseok keeps laughing, his funny, melodic laugh, that he reserves for his girlfriend – Jongdae has seen how they flirt and he never thought he would be shocked by anything his best friend does, but straight Minseok was… an event. Jongdae feels weird, for many reasons.

He hates the low-light, sex-music, expensive atmosphere of the place. The snacks are pretty but they taste funny and Jongdae wants real food and has no patience to wait for the waiter. He likes parties, he does, but the type of party where he can dance and scream during the songs. The only people dancing are definitely high on cocaine or the people who are in the process of a mating call. NatGeo is truly missing those rich asses.

He doesn’t like his own fancy clothes. Baekhyun and Minseok ganged up to make him look more “open” by exposing skin; the black button up shirt is pretty, no doubt, but the buttons aren’t working hard. He’s pretty sure that his kind of okay jeans that Baekhyun lent him (oh, the perks of having same-size bffs) costs thrice his salary. And the shoes are fine. But they aren’t being used, since Jongdae have been sitting for a while now.

And, again, Jongdae’s the third wheel.

It happens quite often and he’s not sure if he actually hates it (“hate” is just too much for him, like any other strong feeling). Sometimes Baekhyun breaks up and he can breathe because he won’t have to feel so lonely. But then Baekhyun starts dating again he has to pretend he’s enjoying being by himself the whole time. Jongdae likes to spend time alone – but not feel lonely, like he’s the second option to everyone.

But being the first option falls on the category Romance.

Oh, so this is how the night will be. Jongdae is in a fucking private party with rich people, drinks and free food and he’s secretly working. He would never guess he would end up being a workaholic.

“Are you okay?” Hani asks, touching his shoulder. “You’re frowning too much.”

Jongdae smiles.

“Sorry,” he nods. “Thinking about work stuff.”

“This is not your kind of thing, isn’t it?” She laughs.

Of course, it isn’t. Jongdae only buys comfortable clothes, twice his size and he’s not even paying attention to the brand name. _Privé_ isn’t exactly the fanciest brand, of course. They’re affordable and Baekhyun is no Steve McQueen. Even like that, the models and the fashion talk weird him out. He would enjoy some design talk, but… today is more an Instagram kind of thing.

“No,” he sips his Piña Colada. “But I have to support my best friend.”

“That’s cute,” Hani winks. Her long, straight pink hair is falling down her back, a bit over Minseok’s arm. Her lipstick is visible on his cheek and she could easily get into the conversation he’s having with a random guy, but she’s just enjoying being there.

“How you would sell gifts to people who are dating?” He asks sincerely. Hani is pretty. Once she danced in a party and it was uploaded in YouTube as a fancam and she had to explain she wasn’t a famous person. She’s nice and kind. She looks like she dated a lot in her teenage years.

Her long eyelashes shine under the light and she moves her legs, the hills making weird noises on the floor.

“Like people sold diamonds to white women,” she raises her glass. It’s wine. 

“Ah,” he laughs. “Of course. That’s classic.”

Selling the durability of a diamond as a metaphor to the everlasting love. Diamonds are girl’s best friend. But how Jongdae could apply this gold idea to the present? I mean, it’s not that he has the means or the money to convince an entire group to change their perspectives in consume and embrace whatever he wants to sell… also, he’s just trying to promote a gift shop.

“Excuse me,” Baekhyun’s voice says. Jongdae is slightly high and he looks up to see stars.

“Hello,” Minseok sings.

Jongdae blinks. Baekhyun wasn’t lying. This guy he’s dating… I mean, he’s tall. And he’s using some high heeled boots. That… combine with a long-sleeved crop top and the body and the face of a Greek god, well, it’s impressing.

“These are my friends,” Baekhyun says. He’s radiating comfort today, his favorite Fearless hoodie and fierce eyeliner. His eyes are shinning naturally, though. “Tiny number one, Minseok, the blonde. The hot girl is his girlfriend, Hani. Don’t look into her eyes or you may fall in love and it’s too soon for you to break my heart.”

Hani rolls her eyes – but fondly.

“Tiny number two,” Baekhyun points. “Jongdae. He seems shy, but he’s a demon. We’re twins, but the DNA can’t confirm.”

“Nice to meet you,” the God says. His skin has such a beautiful, golden-like tone that he looks like he bathes in glitter. “Baekhyun can’t shut up about your two.”

“He can’t shut up about anything,” Jongdae says.

“The name of my future husband is Jongin,” Baekhyun declares proudly. “Get used to his face.”

“We’re trying,” Minseok snorts. “If you stay here more than a minute and don’t take him to the bathroom with you…”

Hani almost spits her wine. Those two…

“Shut up,” Baekhyun says, disgusted for a second, before he turns to his date. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to get used to those two. We’re a full package.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yixing was expensive.

Not like Mercedes are, of course. He was like one those products that are so expensive, so refined, that they didn’t need any advertising. Few people could afford and they would always buy, no matter why. There was no need to expose beauty like that to the poor mortals who would never get to touch it.

Jongdae, too curious for his own good, saw him. But he never got to taste him.

His mind, normally a friend of his, keeps some pleasant memories, even if in the end they sounded like a sad tango. Yixing smiling while drinking coffee in a bench, looking like a magazine cover. Yixing reading quietly, easily mistaken by a lead character in a movie – those who make generations of girls fall in love with him. Yixing being so nice and offering him a coat under the moonlight, while they were sitting on a bench.

Yixing never loving him back.

Yixing gently rejecting him.

Yixing leaving.

His mind kept these events together with his embarrassing memories from fourth grade and his favorite sad song lyrics. Even in his mind, Jongdae had a sense of order. He blames Minseok for his mind files and Baekhyun for the long list of sad songs.

He doesn’t blame Yixing.

 

They met in a market. Yixing was having trouble remembering the name of a fruit. He was trying to describe it, with no success. Jongdae, who had spent a year with Minseok in China, knew how he felt. Jongdae interrupted the conversation and offered help. Yixing spoke perfectly and Jongdae translated. It should have stopped there.

“Thank you,” Yixing said. Jongdae smiles shyly. “It was very nice of you.”

“No problem,” Jongdae nodded. “Can I help you with something else?”

Yixing stopped to think. He was slow, Jongdae noticed. Not that it was a bad thing. Jongdae wasn’t someone who liked to rush things.

“I guess so,” he finally said, smiling softly. “You can be my friend.”

 

That was weird. Jongdae knew. But Yixing was weird in many ways. Asking a stranger to be his friend was actually something quite regular. Yixing liked pretty much everyone. Jongdae, who never found a reason to say no to free affection, said yes.

This was the only mistake.

 

Because Yixing was… not for him. Like offering fine cheese to young uni students who lived off Ramen. Or trying to make Opera singers dance to Hip Hop. SUPREME stores aren’t full of old people. Gotta know your public.

Yixing came from a good family. He was overpolite, never worried about money, always willing to pay. He spoke three languages, but he was slow. He never went to college, but he knew Classic Ballet and contemporary dance. He smelled like roses, white, fresh roses, even when he was sweating. He never used fancy words, he always tried so hard to speak in a way people could comprehend. In conclusion, he was an aberration.

He would let Jongdae draw on his white, immaculate converse in their small trips to take pictures and drink coffee. Yixing always called Jongdae to make it sure he got safe home. He liked to read, but he often forgot the number of the page he was reading.

“Ah, I think I already read this,” he would say quietly, but he kept reading anyway.

Jongdae had many friends. He had a busy weekend routine. Amber and Jonghyun liked to take him to karaoke, he would always sleep in Yoona’s house and he made time to see Liyin and Luhan. His brother always accused him of being married to Baekhyun and Minseok, which, at this point, Jongdae even agrees. But it was different with Yixing. It didn’t feel like… they were friends. Yixing would hold his hand, pay for his food, eat from the same plate, smile and stare at him for a long, long time.

“You’re in love with this guy,” Minseok declared absently, when they were chilling late at night, doing nothing. “It’s in your eyes. Everybody knows it.”

It was a windy night and Baekhyun was eating in the kitchen, too far to listen to their conversation.

“Who’s everybody?” Jongdae snorted.

“Everybody who knows you,” Minseok pointed, poking Jongdae’s nose with his finger. “They say it with their eyes, too.”

“You’re very poetic today, hyung,” Jongdae tried to change the subject. But Minseok was an Aries. He wouldn’t let people run away if he was in the mood for confrontation, no matter how Jongdae was skilled in being pacific.

“Denial won’t fix your broken heart,” Minseok said in the way he said everything that was too sharp, too hurtful to swallow: smiling.

 

Everybody knew Jongdae was in love and everybody knew Yixing wasn’t.

 

Jongdae tried to convince himself that he fell in love with the idea of love. After all, he was always the girl at his home. He would sit with his mom to watch dramas and take care of people. He could have been easily influenced by those flawless protagonists and unconsciously looked for them in Yixing. Maybe he was like everyone else and he wanted this Hollywoodian idea of romance; he wanted to reach those godly nectars and taste how it would feel like being young, beautiful and in love. The eternal irony of the protagonist who is rejected for not fitting, falling in love with the beauty-standard-incarnation love interest.

 

He confessed.

 

It was rainy. It could have been one of those cinematographic scenes. Darcy storming out after Elizabeth to open his heart. Mary Jane kissing Peter Park in a dark alley. That goddamn kiss from the Notebook. Jongdae’s heart was in his mouth and even if he was sure that he knew what he had to say, he improvised.

“… It’s a bit chilly to be outside, isn't?” Yixing said, smiling, on the door. He was probably going to bed. His hair was down and his long, soft white shirt has a tiny hole on it – something he had never seen in an any of Yixing’s clothes, never. “Do you want to come in and have some tea?”

“No,” Jongdae smiles too. His tiny umbrella did not cover him completely and still, he was burning inside. “I just wanted to say something.”

“Oh,” Yixing reacted, widening his eyes. Adorable. “It must be important then. What is it?”

Even if he knew Baekhyun must have been using a giant camera lens to capture this moment from the car window, he wanted to record this moment in his mind. Yixing’s curious expression. The sound of the rain. People chatting in the other side of the street. The way the lights of the cars hit Yixing’s face.

“I love you,” Jongdae said.

Yixing’s face didn’t show anything but surprise for a minute. Jongdae had to wait patiently.

“You came under this rain just to tell me this?” Yixing smiled easily. “I love you too.”

The tone was friendly. Way too friendly.

“No, not like that,” Jongdae said weakly. He knew, he already knew that Yixing didn’t love him back. If he was… he wouldn’t get it wrong. No one in love would accept those words so calmly.

“Ah…” Yixing frowned, seeming to finally understand. “Like…”

Jongdae’s back was almost completely wet and he felt that. He looked down, staring at Yixing’s ridiculous sheep slippers and sighed.

“I thought you should know,” Jongdae said in a tiny voice. “After all.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Yixing was still frowning and Jongdae felt bad. It was sad that a love didn’t bring happiness. “I’m… although I feel honored, I…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jongdae tried to smile. “That was all.”

Jongdae walked back slowly to the car. He was grateful that Yixing didn’t call him or tried to stop him. For the first time in many years Jongdae was in the verge of tears. It was… a surprise. Baekhyun’s face was comical. Jongdae would have laughed, if he wasn’t feeling so dead inside. Baekhyun drove him home with no questions. Minseok visited Jongdae in the next day and brought Tan with him.

Jongdae held the cat confusedly.

“He will be a better company than humans,” Minseok said. “I’ll pick him up in a week.”

 

Petting Tan while watching horror movies was his only good time. Jongdae gained weight suddenly, something quite rare – he was naturally skinny, his body too bony since always. His friends wanted to talk about it, but he smiled and shrugged. He was lazy at work, but he was always quite unbothered. So, nothing new.

When Minseok came to pick Tan back, Jongdae sat on the floor and cried.

He couldn’t understand why it hurt so much. He never expected to fall in love that hard. He wasn’t someone to get this attached and he wasn’t the type of person who did such reckless things. There was always a fire element in his friends that seems to guide them to do crazy things, fight, have intense passions. and it was lacking on him. But he had fell _that_ hard.

 

 

Yixing tried to contact him several times.

He sent those beautiful, gentle messages. _Hey, I miss you, call me back. Hello. I hope you are doing well, I miss you. Are you okay? I saw a dinosaur mug today and thought about you. Jongdae, can you call me? I wish we could talk again. I understand that you may be disappointed at me, but at least tell me if you’re fine. Can I visit you today? Can’t stop thinking about you, please, just talk to me. I miss you._

After few months, he stopped trying. Jongdae could breathe again. It was hard to see the messages – his heart was always beating fast. Jongdae was also a coward who couldn’t block Yixing. After all, Yixing never did something wrong.

 

Almost a year later, he received Yixing’s last message. _I’m going back home. Tonight, I’ll go with some friends to a bar. I would love if you joined us. If you don’t, I understand. My flight is due to Sunday Morning. I’ll be at the airport for a while. If you want to give me a hug…_

Jongdae lost focus on his work for the day. He had just got into an advertising agency, a small one that survived of broke employees like him. Jongdae wanted to give them his best, eager to give them a good impression – a bit naïve, on his first real job after college. He excused himself, walked out of the building, went to a hidden garden on the back and screamed his lungs out. Then, he returned to his cabin like nothing ever happened. He never went to the party nor the airport. On that Saturday night, he drank enough to miss the entire morning; it would be a torture to watch the time pass and knowing that Yixing was waiting for him just before going home.

 

Three years later, they haven’t spoken yet. Once in a while, Jongdae checks Yixing’s social media. He’s thriving, being a producer, full of friends and he has a fiancée. No surprises. Jongdae feels like shit just after, but no one notices.

 

Almost no one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun laughs softly.

“Jongdae?”

Jongdae blinks. “Where was I…?”

The karaoke is almost empty and Jongdae’s head hurts, but Amber got promoted and she’s flirting with pretty much everyone at the place, drunk on happiness. Jonghyun is also in a good mood, his eye smile so contagious that Jongdae forgets his thoughts for a minute.

“You were talking about avoiding Baekhyun,” He raises a finger, holding a beer. He’s also blonde, now, so Jongdae is outnumbered. “But you didn’t tell me why.”

“He can’t shut up about his date, you know how he is,” Jongdae sighs. “Yesterday, he showed me a video of his boyfriend rolling his hips while dancing, then said: _he does the same thing while sitting on my dick._ The lady eating next to us almost passed out.”

Jonghyun laughs hard and it’s a blessing.

“He never changes.”

“Never,” Jongdae agrees. He looks around; he likes the lights and the noises. Tacos, mini cheeseburgers, cheap beer and a lady trying to give Amber a drunk lap dance. This is his real party.

“You were thinking about him,” Jonghyun says suddenly.

“What?” Jongdae blinks.

“Yixing,” Jonghyun grins. His tone is casual. “You were doing your Yixing face.”

Jongdae tries to smile and nods. It’s futile to deny. He plays with his half-empty cup, circling it with the tip of his index finger.

Jonghyun is staring at him. “I’m still waiting for the day you will talk about it.”

“I don’t have anything to say,” Jongdae shrugs. “It’s over. It’s been years…”

“It is, though?” Jonghyun makes a face, pouting and frowning at the same time. “You were never the same after what happened.”

“I guess love changes us,” Jongdae mocks him. Jonghyun is another Aries. He won’t be fooled.

“You should be open for it again, then. Give love a second chance,” he says in the same tone, raising his beer again. “It would help you in your work.”

“Ah, I doubt it,” Jongdae laughs. “But tomorrow I’m going to see the place. Maybe it’ll help more to see what exactly I’m selling.”

“They put you to work by yourself this time again?” Jonghyun frowns and then sips his beer. “You should ask for a raise.”

“I’ll ask for a promotion soon,” Jongdae agrees. “But this time it’s actually okay. It’s just a small shop. The owner works there, it’s a guy around my age.”

“Is he single?” Jonghyun winks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The problem with the owner is not about being single or taken.

He’s just a mess.

“Hello,” the man screams. Maybe he’s afraid that people won’t listen to him since he’s talking from such a high height. His hair is purple today. When he was on office, it was pink. His sweater could be easily a circus’ dome.

“Hello,” Jongdae says back, smiling. “How are you, my dear?”

“Ah, happy, happy,” the guy sings. His store isn’t that big, what is confusingly, now he’s engulfing Jongdae’s hand with his gigantic ones. “And how are you?”

“Working on the weekend. Not great,” Jongdae laughs. He’s meant it, but he doesn’t really care anymore. The day is sunny and there’s a candy shop right next to them, so maybe it won’t be bad to spend the day outside.

“Ah, don’t worry,” he laughs too. He’s cute, in a weird way. “My friend bought a big cake for you and we can listen to songs while we’re here. We’ll have a good time.”

“Your friend?” Jongdae says, trying to remember the guy’s name. His email was pcy_work. Pcy?

“Yes, this shop is an association, actually, me and Kyungsoo. CK shop, see, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo,” he smiles brightly, opening the door for Jongdae. “ _Mi casa, su casa_.”

“This only works for domestic environments, I guess,” a voice comes from nowhere. Jongdae looks around. The shop isn’t that small as it looks from outside. It definitely needs a better entrance. Inside, it looks lovely: pink-and-white walls like a lollipop, pastel shelfs full of things with cute, hearty tags. The balcony is sky blue and it has a vintage looking cashing register. There’s a yellow small table and poofs in the middle of the place and the woody stairs to the next floor are in the corner.

“Ah, cute,” Jongdae says.

“I paid a friend to do it for me,” Chanyeol says. “My girlfriend’s best friends, actually. They should open a decoration business. They’re very good at this aesthetic thing, isn’t it?”

“Yes, they are,” Jongdae sighs. Of course a fine man like this one would have a girlfriend. “So, these are the gifts?”

Dozens of stuffed animals, including that expressionless bear Jongdae never remembers the name. Mugs. Vases. An entire Marvel collection. Wines. Fun stuff. Heart-shaped… god, so many heart-shaped things. Books. Cute notepads. Pendants.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol nods.

“They… don’t follow a pattern, right?” Jongdae picks something that he believes it’s a cupcake shaped puff. “So fluffy!”

“Yes,” Chanyeol laughs. “I travel around the world and I bought things. If you look at the tags, it has the country where it was made. I always buy from small owners… most are handmade.”

“Amazing,” Jongdae says, still hugging the puff.

“Kyungsoo organized so the couple stuff would be in one shell,” he points to the heart-shaped mess. “So it helps with the love selling.”

“A nice way to put it,” Jongdae can’t hold his sarcastic tone. “How about you put few things next to the door. Ask for your friends to do some “aesthetic thing” there. The people passing by can’t see the inside. They need to understand what you’re selling.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol fumbles in his pockets and takes it of an Iron Man notepad. “Throw me a pen, Kyungsoo.”

Jongdae blinks. A pen hits Chanyeol on the face. It came from upstairs, Jongdae thinks.

“Nice,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “Now… put things… at the door…”

“Try to make the door as cute as the inside. The name on it, also,” Jongdae says. “An important thing for a gift shop is the wrap-up. It must be cute, even more good-looking than the gift itself. The brand must be recognizable. I need this one before the video advertising. People need to associate the brand to the visual…”

“Yes, then I’ll do it,” Chanyeol says, focused in writing. “I mean, I should do it? Or you guys…?”

“I can draw a concept for you, of course. But we can’t make the wrappers…” Jongdae points. “What were you going to use?”

“I bought different types of paper. Kyungsoo knows how to wrap, so…” Chanyeol scratches his head.

“No,” Jongdae says resolutely. “Throw them away. Give me a good paper and I’ll give you a drawing of what I want. Then you’ll do it.”

“Fine,” Chanyeol licks his lips. They’re pouty, a bit pink, like he applied lipstick. “Kyungsoo, can you fetch me a drawing notebook. Ah, a pencil and nice erasers, please!”

Steps noises.

“Do not throw it in my face!”

Steps noises stop.

“Is he a kid…?” Jongdae asks absently, while he sees the tiny figure sitting on the stairs.

“He’s not in the mood for socializing today,” Chanyeol apologizes. “I mean, he rarely is, but he just found out his favorite restaurant will shut down. He’s a bit moody.”

The guy finally shows up. He’s not very small, after all. I mean, compared to Chanyeol, they all are.

“Here,” he lends Chanyeol exactly what was asked for. Jongdae waited for any type of complain, but the guy said a tiny “hello”.

“This is Jongdae,” Chanyeol says, throwing an arm around the publicist. “He’s the guy I talked about. Ah, this is Kyungsoo, Jongdae. He’s my half soulmate. The other half is my girlfriend, both are tiny and cute.”

“Nice to meet you,” Kyungsoo says, bowing. He’s using a whole black outfit in a sunny Sunday, head to toe, including the glasses. He looks good, no doubt, but… what kind of goth…?

“Nice to meet you too,” Jongdae mumbles. Kyungsoo is carrying a small box with him. Jongdae looks up to see if Chanyeol is going to say anything.

“Oh, let’s eat cake,” he says suddenly. “Right?”

Kyungsoo nods, looking down. He seems to be shy. Jongdae smiles tentatively while helping them to put the dishes on the yellow table.

“Do you want sodas or water or tea…?” Chanyeol asks happily.

“Anything is fine,” Jongdae shrugs. Kyungsoo handles him a ice tea. They spend a total amount of five minutes in silence which is the time Chanyeol takes to eat half of the cake. Kyungsoo eats elegantly and Jongdae tries to imitate him.

“So,” Chanyeol says, licking his lips. “What do you think we should do?”

Jongdae is munching slowly, staring at Kyungsoo’s weirdly flexible fingers.

“Since you sell different things, I guess the possible concept is exclusivity,” Jongdae finally says. “By the way, thanks for the cake. It’s really good.”

“It’s strawberry,” Kyungsoo says in a low voice. “One of my favorite shops.”

Chanyeol makes a thoughtful expression. He rubs his own belly slowly.

“Like…?”

“Like… exclusive like your love,” Jongdae moves his fork around, making happy noises. “Buy a gift that represents how unique your relationship is. I tell you, you need a logo and a nice wrapping… Let me see…”

Jongdae picks the drawing notebook, reorganizing the plates to get some space. The place smells good, but funny. A bunch of sticks are burning in the corner, in a tiny coconut vase. Kyungsoo helps him, moving the cups.

“You need to buy a good fabric…” Jongdae says, drawing. “Black is fine. But you need a real black, nothing that looks old… or kind of grey. Golden ribbons… nothing too exaggerate. And this…”

He points to the logo. It’s ‘C.K.’, but in a classic lettering.

“C.K.?” Chanyeol blinks. “With dots.”

“Yes,” Jongdae nods. “It’s better. CK seems like… just a pet name. The abbreviation suggests things that don’t need to be said.”

“Okay…” Chanyeol nods. “Is that okay for you, Kyungsoo?”

“Yes,” he says simply. He stares at Jongdae for about five seconds and there’s something in his face, maybe his thick eyebrows or his huge round eyes, that makes his gaze a bit too heavy.

Jongdae gulps. “Can I take a look around?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Park Chanyeol. Do Kyungsoo.

Jongdae checks his names on the list. Monday is the worst day. The least creative day; his coworkers are living on coffee and funny videos and Jongdae asks himself why he hadn’t tried a bit harder to get a job on google – they would understand the need for creative minds to do nothing on Mondays. Jongdae pretends to be working, after all. He’s searching his clients, so, almost work, right?

Park Chanyeol is a media influencer, which doesn’t surprise Jongdae at all. Jongdae spends half of the day watching his videos around the world and follows him on Instagram. It’s very entertaining. The guy is so chill that he even posts himself tripping on rocks and hitting his head on doors.

Kyungsoo hasn’t any social media address. Not even his professional contact is online. Jongdae searches him by every ID (he’s using his work information, but who cares?) on google and can’t find him.

“Not even a Facebook?” Jongdae asks, drinking the fourth coffee cup of the day. “My grandma has a Facebook.”

And her dog too.

After an hour of pointless searching, Jongdae finds something. It’s an old blog (I mean, from a blog website, who has those nowadays?). Jongdae checks it and it keeps being updated – but he’s not a hundred percent sure it belongs to the Do Kyungsoo he’s looking for. It’s linked to the same email… but… no pictures or enough info.

 

**SOUR TASTE**

_My name is Kyungsoo and I review the places I eat out. I’m open to requests and questions._

_dyo_1201@ssssmail_

 

16.06.18

_It seems that the only good restaurant with Brazilian food is closing this week. I’m not talking about barbecue or feijoada. They had amazing foods from the countryside, like Mineira and Baiana food. I’m sad, but I guess we can’t do anything about it. I will try the new Crepe place with my friends today. Wish me luck._

_Kyungsoo._

 

 **Yoochan** June 16, 2018 12:00

_Hey Kyungsoo did you like the gelateria??? It seems to be ice-cream but better I guess._

                         **Kyungsoo** June 16,2018 14:00

_Gelato is just fancy Ice cream. It does taste better but not worth the price._

**SUNYOON** June 16, 2018 12:25

_Yeah but barbecue is good tho!!!!!!_

**Kyungsoo** June 16,2018 14:06

_Yes, it is. But overcooked meat isn’t my favorite._

**husssssssssss** June 16, 2018 12:30

_Have you ever been to that Greek place? What do you think about their food?_

                            **Kyungsoo**  June 16,2018 14:11

_I plan on eating there next weekend. I’ll review it after._

Jongdae ends up reading the whole blog. The first post is dates back in 2006. His work gets a little better, but he’s insanely hungry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I can’t skip my diet,” Minseok says, sighing. Baekhyun, in the other side, is quite excited. It’s the first time that he’s joining them after starting dating Jongin.

“Ah, waaaeeeeee,” Jongdae complains. “I just found out that we never go out to actual restaurants.”

“They’re expensive, that’s why,” Minseok says. “I don’t have money to eat out every time. I work and study and I have to buy things to my girlfriend.”

“No, they’re not,” Jongdae says. “Do you know that Italian Place near your work actually have affordable lasagnas? I mean, I have a list of places that have meals under bubble tea highest prices.”

“Do you?” Baekhyun frowns. “Why?”

“I’m reading a blog, now,” Jongdae says nonchalant. “Let’s eat pizza!”

Baekhyun’s eyes are shinning. You can summon him just by saying pizza three times.

“Let’s go, Minnie, I'll pay for your food,” Baekhyun pouts, trying his best aegyo. He’s under his baggy clothes and he’s looking like a kid.

“It’s Minseok-hyung for you and I won’t skip my diet,” Minseok sighs again. “No!”

“Why don’t we make this a date night? You bring your girlfriend, I bring my boyfriend, Jongdae brings his weird sex toys…” Baekhyun says, nodding. Minseok snorts.

“Fuck you, there’s nothing weird about a Sailor Moon dildo.”

“I wasn’t talking about this one. I think it’s cute, actually,” Baekhyun considers. “Come on, Minseokkie. Let’s go! I am salivating…”

“Fine,” Minseok agrees. “But we’re going out next time only to work out.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae doesn’t want to be alone, but at least he can pretend that he’s working because Viva Polo! is full of Chanyeol’s stuff. The place is covered in pics, drawings, teddy bears and gifts. The restaurant isn’t crowded as he thought it was.

“So, that youtuber is the owner?” Baekhyun asks, pointing to a Chanyeol’s pic. “I mean, his videos are so long. I never have the discipline to watch it.”

“I have no idea that youtubers were famous these days,” Minseok looks around. “I mean, who watches that, kids?”

“He makes travelling tutorials, you would like to watch,” Jongdae says, inspecting the pictures. “You could see the world at your house, next to Tan.”

Few of the pictures have his family and friends. Kyungsoo is in few of them. Jongdae touches the pic unconsciously and Minseok slaps his hand away.

“Let’s seat, I need to eat,” Baekhyun whines. He keeps complaining until they order a small portion of fries – Jongdae and Minseok use this technique to distract him. Hani arrives ten minutes later, in her high heels and work clothes, looking marvelous as ever. Her silk button shirt has a coffee taint and somehow, it looks like it’s just a fashionable choice.

Baekhyun’s boyfriend takes a little time to arrive, but his entrance is just as powerful. The man is just using casual clothes and still looks breathtaking. He apologizes and order more pizzas as a gift for them.

Jongdae sighs, looking at the other tables.

“… I wasn’t going to come because I was helping a friend with his dog,” Jongin says, eating one of Baekhyun’s fries. That’s how they know it’s real love. “I spend the day at the vet with him. Sehun is too attached to—”

Jongin is interrupted by Baekhyun’s coughing. Jongdae blinks.

“Are you okay?” Hani asks, worried, because she’s too naïve to realize that Baekhyun is just trying to interrupt. “Do you want some water…?”

“He’s fine,” Minseok rolls his eyes.

Ah, Jongdae understands.

“Is it Oh Sehun?” Jongdae asks casually. “An angry looking hot dude?”

“Yes,” Jongin smiles confusingly. “Do you know him?”

“Yes, we met. He is a friend of a friend, Yixing,” Jongdae says, measuring his own tone to sound casual and unbothered as always.

“I met Yixing once,” Jongin nods, thinking. “We worked together for a photoshoot.”

“I see,” Jongdae smiles and he wants to laugh at Baekhyun and Minseok’s worried faces. “The world is a small place.”

“What happened to his dog?” Hani asks gently. Her long fingers are drawing circles in the napkin; she must have sensed the heavy aura.

“Vivi fell from the stairs,” Jongin says serious, messing with his brown, shiny hair. “Everything is fine now, but it scared us, you see.”

“I can imagine,” Baekhyun says, but he seems to be thinking about his own dog. “Is he okay?”

“He’s going to delay his marriage date,” Jongin explains, half munching the fries. Baekhyun is absently rubbing his arm. Under the weak light, his eyes and platinum hair seem to be full of stars. “He and Junmyeon were going to Vegas next week to get married, but now Vivi has to rest and they have decided to stay for a while.”

“If they delay for few months then we can join them,” Baekhyun smiles. Jongin snorts and slaps him. “We just need rings.”

“Is he always like that?” Jongin asks. His tan skin is a bit reddish on his cheeks. Hani laughs.

“He’s especially romantic these days,” Minseok says, grinning. The first pizzas arrive and they suddenly get distracted by it. Jongdae still feels a bit weird.

 

 

 

 

 

He only understands it when he gets home. Actually, when he’s about to sleep – his brain isn’t ready to keep quiet. He stares at the ceiling, rubbing the fluffy fabric of his blanket. Minseok isn’t sleeping at home, obviously, so he’s alone in their tiny apartment – not small enough to make him feel cozy. Jongdae is too lazy to get up, so he thinks about his life, instead.

He remembers his friends’ face. For how long Baekhyun knew Jongin and Sehun were friends and never said a word? Why could possibly be wrong in talking about and old friend? Jongdae never stopped talking to Sehun – they just don’t hang out anymore, because they only saw each other when Yixing was around. Now, Jongdae likes his pictures on Instagram and vice versa. A modern online friendship. But his friends think Jongdae is traumatized to the point that anything about Yixing can’t be said.

Is he?

Jongdae sighs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol sends him dozens of pictures showing how he’s following Jongdae’s advice. The entry now is pink and has a vintage looking heart and lettering. The gift’s wrapping is exactly how Jongdae imagines, so it must have costed a lot. But Chanyeol seems so excited to show it to Jongdae, he must be happy with the choices too. He invites Jongdae to see the store a week after.

It's better. Jongdae wanders inside, checking new things, the gifts and he’s almost picturing how he’s going to film and portray the place. He will bring every detail that he associates with love, of course… but…

“We need models,” Jongdae mumbles. “We need a couple and few people.”

“Real models or just anyone?” Chanyeol asks. He’s using a jumper with “sexual fantasies” written on it and Jongdae is being induced to have 19+ thoughts.

“Pretty people, but… not like… real models,” Jongdae shakes his thought away. “Just… pretty girls, a nice couple, maybe someone older…”

“I have dozens of friends and they’re hot,” Chanyeol smiles. He has about hundred teeth in his mouth. “Just tell me when.”

“The end of the week,” Jongdae ponders. “I’ll bring my camera and some things. I don’t have a makeup artist.”

“My girlfriend is a makeup artist,” Chanyeol says proudly.

“Well, so, I’ll be there often,” Jongdae warns. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, no, make yourself comfortable.”

Jongdae looks around. He can hear the noises but he hasn’t seen Kyungsoo yet.

“How about your friend?” He says, pointing to nowhere. “Is he going to be…?”

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol laughs hard and slaps Jongdae even harder. Thank god Jongdae has some balance. “He won’t mind. He likes company, but he’s a bit shy in the beginning. You will see that he gets pretty noisy when he feels comfortable.”

Jongdae doesn’t understand why, but he wants Chanyeol to be right.

 

 

 

**SOUR TASTE**

_My name is Kyungsoo and I review the places I eat out. I’m open to requests and questions._

_dyo_1201@ssssmail_

 

18.06.18

_The crepe place is good. It has many options, the crepe tastes nice, it has a good size and an okay price. I didn’t like the physical space of the store, too much glass and too small. It’s good if you’re just going to buy and then leave. Not a great place for dinner. My favorite crepe was Romeo &Juliet. It has a vegan option too. I will go to the Risotto Restaurant next week._

_Kyungsoo._

 

 **Yoochan** June 20, 2018 16:20

_I hate crepes!!! Theyre too small_

                         **Kyungsoo** June 20, 2018 23:03

_You can add ingredients. It gets bigger._

 

 **FOODMAN** June 20, 2018 19:33

_NEXT WEEK????? you used to post more :(_

                          **Kyungsoo** June 20, 2018 20:05

_I’m busy at work. You can pay me and then I’ll go sooner._

Jongdae snorts, almost spitting his ramen out of his mouth. Minseok walks by, carrying his plate. Jongdae knows when his best friend is hungry – he lets food falls on his immaculate big white shirt he uses at home. Now, it’s pretty clean, which means that he’s back to his dieting. Baekhyun isn’t around, so he must be eating _something else._

“What’s so fun?” Minseok says, side eyeing Jongdae. It’s because Jongdae is being messy, probably. “A meme?”

“No, not this time,” Jongdae smiles. “It’s that blog.”

“Why are you suddenly interested in culinary?” The sound of the water hitting the dishes seems to calm Minseok a little. “That’s weird.”

“I’m interested in food.”

“Yeah, but you never had a fancy taste.”

“Truth,” Jongdae wipes his chin, smiling. “But it’s not like I’m going to these places. I just need to read and enjoy.”

Minseok laughs, looking back. There aren’t many dishes to wash, so he starts to clean the sink. Jongdae keeps eating, thinking about a reply.

“Why don’t you ask this guy out?”

“What?” Jongdae blinks. Minseok stares at him; his hair is down and he looks sleepy.

“Ask him out,” he repeats. “So you can eat together. And then you don’t have to just read.”

“Ahhh…” Jongdae almost coughs. “Yeah, but there will probably lots of people doing it.”

“And…?”

Jongdae sighs. He could explain how he’s just a guy trying to live his life peacefully and not even reincarnating he would have half of Minseok’s braveness and confidence, but he decided to mumble an annoyed ‘aaawaaaaaaee’ and then go to bed. Minsoek is happy to clean his dishes and Jongdae just wants to sleep.

 

 **Chen** June 21, 2018 00:16

_How about a special list to broke single people who just want to have a fun night and a nice meal?_

**Kyungsoo** June 21, 2018 15:56

_I have a phd on that. Don’t worry, I got you._

 

 

“Grey or white?”

Baekhyun is holding two shirts. They’re so similar that Jongdae isn’t even sure of which one is the white one.

“Any…?”

Jongdae sighs, tired. Baekhyun’s room is a mess as always. He remembers when Baekhyun thought his dog was missing and then found him under a pile of clothes. But it’s a nice place to stay – he lives in the penthouse and the wind is a prize. The place smells like good food and perfume at the same time; everywhere you can find a picture or a pretty painting. Jongdae feels at home, even if his home is so far away.

“Pick one,” Baekhyun whines.

“The grey one.”

“You’re not even looking!”

“You’re gorgeous, you need nothing but that pretty face,” Jongdae says smiling and of course, he gets a smile back. And also, a shirt threw in his face.

“Asshole,” he complains, dressing himself. “I’ll use the grey one.”

“It fits you,” Jongdae says sincerely. “Aren’t you wearing it to get naked later, anyway?”

“No,” Baekhyun says. “Today is an important day.”

“Are you going to meet his family?” Jongdae lays down on the bed again. He closes his eyes to listen to the Wind Chimes’ noise better.

“No, I already met them. His dogs are coming to meet mine.”

Jongdae lifts his head up to look at Baekhyun.

“Are… you serious…?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun pushes his hair up in the front of the mirror, checking his face. “If they hate each other, we can’t live together.”

Jongdae can’t help but rolls his eyes back.

“Didn’t you say that you were going to go easy this time?”

Baekhyun freezes and that’s how Jongdae knows a fight is coming. He turns to face Jongdae crossing his arms. His hair falls back messily.

“It’s been months,” Baekhyun says. “I’m almost thirty. It’s not like I’m a kid anymore. We’re both adults and we know what we want.”

“I know,” Jongdae says, sitting up. “But why can’t you wait until you’re sure?”

Baekhyun shakes his head slowly, licking his lips.

“This isn’t about me.”

Jongdae frowns.

“Yeah, you heard me,” Baekhyun says. “This is about you and Yixing all over again.”

“Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaae,” Jongdae whines, letting his body falls back on the bed.

“Don’t ‘awaee’ me,” Baekhyun points a finger. “I mean, it’s time for us to have this conversation. I’m tired, Jongdae. Like… I’m fine? I caught my girlfriend in bed with someone else? But I move on? Got my heart broke a thousand times. I was rejected, dumped, cheated on... But well, that’s how life is and I’m not afraid. I hate to be afraid, why would I be afraid of love, of all things? I do believe I love Jongin but if he breaks my heart then all I do is to stand up again and glue all the little pieces.”

Jongdae takes a long breath, staring at the ceiling. He’s hungry.

“Are you going to ignore me?” He can hear Baekhyun’s angry steps, then the slap on his leg. “Oi, listen! I’m talking to you.”

Jongdae stares at him. Baekhyun holds his knees.

“Yes,” Jongdae sighs.

“He rejected you because you’re two weren’t meant to be together,” Baekhyun says slowly. “His rejection doesn’t mean that you’re not worth or unlovable. It means that you need to find someone else. Being careful and closing your heart won’t do nothing but hurt you even more.”

“I’m not—”

“Just… look,” Baekhyun sighs deeply. “Go outside and be ready to be punch in the face and have your heart broken. You’re an amazing person and someone deserves you. If I believed you’re alone because you wanted it, fine. But not because you gave up on the first try.”

“I have your motivational speeches,” Jongdae says.

“Then don’t give me a reason to rant,” Baekhyun makes a face. “And get out of my bed!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae wakes up and the first thing he sees is a cup of tea. He sits up straight – his back is hurting – and stretches, making a loud noise. Then, he remembers he’s not at home. The store is empty and closed. It’ll be open in a week and Chanyeol is promoting outside. Jongdae is sure that it’s going to a success, based on his popularity.

On the table, next to where his head was lying, there’s an open box. Warm tea. Tiny biscuits.

Jongdae checks the box. It’s from the Candy Shop next to the store.

“Cute,” he says. He hears Kyungsoo’s steps in the second floor. Jongdae tried his best to talk to him for the past days, but it was unfruitful. Kyungsoo is a man of few words. He helps Jongdae a lot, pointing things, opening doors and moving things to help to get the shots right. Without Kyungsoo’s help, Jongdae couldn’t photograph correctly – he even held the lights to get a more spontaneous shot of the girls (Chanyeol’s girlfriend and her best friend, two cute babes) entering the store.

“Arrrhhh…” he coughs out loud. “Is that for me…?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says from the second floor.

“Don’t you want some?” Jongdae scratches his nose, staring at a giant panda bear.

“No.” Kyungsoo’s voice is too deep, Jongdae thinks.

“How about your friend?”

“He’s going to have dinner with Seungwan today,” Kyungsoo says simply. “I don’t like the restaurant, so I’ll eat out later.”

Jongdae munches two small star-shaped biscuits to gain strength.

“Where?”

He regrets asking immediately. Kyungsoo has answered few questions since he got there. Jongdae drinks a bit of tea and smiles. Blackberries. Kyungsoo walks down the stairs. He’s using dark green today; his clothes always look like he bought in a store for “Dads only”. He’s using some used old jeans with a belt and the green shirt is tucked on. His shoes are a simple black sneaker, like his square glasses.

“Thai food restaurant,” Kyungsoo says, holding a big brown box. It looks empty. “I will try the Pineapple fried rice.”

“Oh,” Jongdae nods. “Uhh… Can I go with you?”

Kyungsoo just stares for a moment. Jongdae thinks Kyungsoo is quite pretty, but his blank face scares him a bit.

“If you want to,” Kyungsoo says in a low voice, jumping off the last degree and walking to a shelf. “I’ll leave in three hours.”

“Let’s go together,” Jongdae used his best friendly-like tone, but Kyungsoo just nodded without sparing him a look.

 

 

They leave a bit earlier, because Chanyeol sends a message warning them he won’t come back to the store. Jongdae helps Kyungsoo closing the place. They walk on the street before they hail a cab. The place is a bit too far and Kyungsoo warned Jongdae that is a very popular spot, they shouldn’t get late.

When they sit in the cab, Jongdae’s mind processes what’s going on. He looks at Kyungsoo gently explaining the location to the driver and he just… wow.

He’s really going out with someone.

“I have a blog,” Kyungsoo says. “I review restaurants.”

“I know,” Jongdae stares at his bag on his lap. “I visited it.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t seem very surprised, but he studies Jongdae for a minute before talking again.

“Do you have a hobby?” He asks quietly. “I know you’re a publicist.”

“No, not at all. I just like to sleep. I mean, me and my friends go to karaoke sometimes, but it’s not a hobby.”

“I don’t like going out or doing anything,” Kyungsoo says like he’s warning Jongdae. “I just like to eat, so I guess this is my hobby.”

“Well, I can relate,” Jongdae smiles. “I mean, I don’t… review food, but I’m open to eat anything.”

“So you’re coming because you want to eat?”

Jongdae scratches his head. The driver is listening to Bollywood songs and the car is shaking so he’s a bit distracted.

“What else I would want to do at a restaurant…?”

“I asking to know if this is a date,” Kyungsoo says serious, but he’s whispering. Jongdae gapes – he wasn’t expecting something so straightforward.

“Uhhhnn… if I say yes… then… You would be offended?” He asks casually but his heart is beating faster. He needs to be quick, before he decides to open the door and jumps with the car still moving.

“No,” Kyungsoo answers, a whisper. He’s looking to the point where their knees are touching.

“Then it’s a date,” Jongdae says almost breathless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo orders as always. It’s not like Jongdae wanted to ask for anything. He obviously trusts Kyungsoo better. And, to be honest to himself, he doesn’t care about the food that much. He just enjoys seeing Kyungsoo eating with his full cheeks, taking notes on his little notepad and inspecting the menu like it’s something really interesting and not a menu. Jongdae only checks the prices, but Kyungsoo can stare at that thing for twenty minutes.

“What do you want to drink?” Kyungsoo says, eyes glued on the menu. “I’ll ask for a tea when the food comes.”

“I’m fine with tea too,” Jongdae shrugs, smiling.

“You can pick a different thing, if you want it,” Kyungsoo frowns.

“Nah, I don’t mind.”

Kyungsoo places the menu over the table and reaches for Jongdae’s hand. They don’t hold hands in public, of course, but sometimes Kyungsoo just caresses or grabs him gently and Jongdae is quite fond of that type of affection. He likes that Kyungsoo is physical, allowing Jongdae to be as much as clingy as he is with his friends.

Kyungsoo rubs his hand and then retreats his arm.

“Why did you change your mind?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Ah…” Jongdae licks his lips. He was… broke. He didn’t expect Kyungsoo to keep asking him out. It was the end of the month and Jongdae hadn’t much money left and he was embarrassed to tell Kyungsoo that. Kyungsoo is a gentleman and he would offer to pay, but Jongdae didn’t want that. In the end, Baekhyun found out that Jongdae was going to skip a date and offered a huge amount of money.

“You don’t even have to pay me back,” Baekhyun almost screamed. “Just guarantee me you’ll keep dating this guy! I’ll pay you to date!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jongdae said, laughing. He accepted the money. “I’ll pay back.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable,” Kyungsoo says, too serious. He’s so considerate, Jongdae thinks.

“No, it’s not a secret. I was just… I wasn’t in the mood,” Jongdae lies. “But I really wanted to see you, so.”

Kyungsoo smiles – not completely. Kyungsoo seems to be always guarding himself. Yet, he looks beautiful and sometimes Jongdae can’t believe this is really happening, that Kyungsoo is dating him, that they are together in a nice restaurant eating and having fun; Jongdae is dating a cute guy like this one, he’s so lucky.

Their meal is nice as always. Kyungsoo talks about the store opening and how the girls were happy seeing the short film and the pictures. They had a lot of clients and half of the things were sold fast; Chanyeol was now bringing gifts from Spain, where he was recording a new video.

“I haven’t seen you the last days,” Kyungsoo says, cleaning elegantly his mouth. “Did something nice happen to you?”

“Baekhyun proposed to his boyfriend,” Jongdae says, still trying to figure out how to eat those hamburgers (they gave them a fork and a knife…). “It was so funny, like—”

“No offense to Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo sighs. It’s a bad sign. “But we went out four times already every time I asked about your life, you talk about your friends."

Jongdae blinks, his mouth still open like he’s about to continue. Kyungsoo waits.

“Ahnnhh… I… well, they’re my second family, so…”

“I didn’t ask about them or your family,” Kyungsoo says simply. “I asked about you.”

Jongdae smiles, confused. “What do you want me to tell you?”

“I want you to talk _about you_.”

“There’s nothing interesting to say…” Jongdae shakes his head, but Kyungsoo grabs his wrist and rubs it gently.

“It doesn’t need to be interesting. You’re not here to entertain me.”

Kyungsoo sets him free and goes back to his hamburger cutting and then eating like it was a cake or something.

“I really like… the new MAMAMOO songs…” Jongdae says tentatively. “I listened to it all day long today. And my boss complained about the results…? But I’m doing good, I think. I am… having troubles with… I think my neighbor’s cat is trying to break into my apartment to mate Tan, but she lives in Minseok’s family house… it’s just the smell…”

Kyungsoo is listening, munching and staring at Jongdae. He has a heavy gaze.

“Ah, why do you want to listen about those things…” Jongdae says, embarrassed. “They’re boring and weird.”

“Because I’m interested in you, then I am interested in your life,” Kyungsoo says like it’s nothing. He does that constantly and Jongdae is never ready. “It’s very… simple.”

Jongdae just smiles and shakes his head, because he’s a bit embarrassed. He finally found a way to eat the hamburgers. He’s almost finishing it when Kyungsoo asks.

“Do you want to go to my place after we leave?”

Jongdae tries his best to not choke on his tea and to react like a normal adult guy. There’s nothing wrong about the question. It’s just they haven’t kissed yet. Sometimes Kyungsoo just holds his waist and Jongdae leans on him and Jongdae haven’t even dealt with that completely.

“Yes,” he answered, drinking a bit more after to help with his suddenly dry throat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is soft. His physical form, at least. His arms, his waist, his lips, everything is made of extra meat. There’s nothing too skinny or hard on his body. Jongdae is kind of bony, so he appreciates that. How he can rest his entire body on Kyungsoo’s and it doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Kyungsoo doesn’t rush Jongdae, but sometimes he just gets impatient and do whatever he wants to do first.

Jongdae thinks about that on his own bed.

Kyungsoo is travelling with Chanyeol and for the first time after weeks of dating, he feels quite lonely. Jongdae spent the last few weeks at Kyungsoo’s apartment. A tiny place, but neat and comfortable, with two funny poodles walking around.

They talked about things, watched movies (Kyungsoo could spend the whole day watching movies) and ordered food. Kyungsoo also played videogames, once in a while, so he sometimes would play while Jongdae was napping on his bed. Kyungsoo’s bed wasn’t really that great, but Jongdae felt relaxed there.

“Hello,” Baekhyun says, walking in. Minseok must have given him the keys. “Stop sighing and staring at the ceiling. Let’s go out!”

“Karaoke?” Jongdae asks.

“Yup. You know that’s the only thing that makes Minseok leave his bed,” Baekhyun smiles. He’s now using a peach pink hair and he barely takes his glasses from his eyes. He looks softer since he got engaged. Even the ring on his finger doesn’t look that serious, but cute.

“Can I go dressed like that?”

“Yup, just put some sneakers. Those slippers are too cute to get dirty,” Baekhyun walks out still talking. “It’s not like there is any difference. You do dress like you’re going to bed, like, everyday…”

The night looks beautiful and warm. Jongdae and Baekhyun stop to pet a dog and to buy some snacks. A girl in the other side of the street is smiling to her phone and Jongdae stares at her for a while.

“So, your boyfriend is out of town,” Baekhyun says, munching his churro. “You look like a lost puppy.”

Jongdae pays for the churros before walking again. He doesn’t say anything.

“Ah, don’t ignore me,” Baekhyun pouts, poking him.

“Awaeee. What do you want?”

“I don’t know. Talk to me about this guy.”

“You met him. His name is Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah, I met him for a minute,” Baekhyun complains. “I barely remember how he looks like. I just said hi and then he said hi.”

“You spent days talking about his ass.”

“Well, that I remember vividly. My fiancée has a tiny ass so… It’s not fair that both people in a relationship have nice ass. I want to bite something and Jongin is like… flat.”

“Dump him.”

“I love him.”

“Then leave me alone.”

Baekhyun whines something incoherently, the starts ranting about something else. Jongdae doesn’t pay attention. He thinks about the first time he and Kyungsoo had sex – the first time they kissed, also. They only kiss in those times, but Jongdae doesn’t mind. They’re always touching, anyway.

“You’re not listening,” Baekhyun says fondly, smiling. Jongdae frowns.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Baekhyun just smiles, that particular one with no teeth, like he knows something, but he won’t share.

 

 

 

 

**SOUR TASTE**

_My name is Kyungsoo and I review the places I eat out. I’m open to requests and questions._

_dyo_1201@ssssmail_

 

11.08.18

_In case you decide to visit the other side of the world, do not forget to look for a ‘Moqueca’, a traditional Brazilian dish. I had a shrimp Moqueca here and I really liked it. The problem with food here is because there’s a lot of oil and it can be a little heavy to digest. My friend ate too much and now he’s sick. Because of that, we will only eat candies and fruits from now on._

_Kyungsoo._

 

 **SUNYOON** August, 12 2018 01:15

_Is your friend okay? Have you guys drunk anything?_

**Kyungsoo**  August 12, 2018 14:06

_He will survive. We drank caipirinhas and roskas._

**Sssssssss_2** August, 12 2018 01:25

_Are you banging ppl there?_

**Kyungsoo**  August 12, 2018 14:06

_Who are you and why do you want to know that?_

**Chen** August 13, 2018 01:30

_How about that broke-and-single list you promised to do?_

                            **Kyungsoo**  August 13, 2018 14:11

_My bad. I started dating and forgot about it._

Jongdae stares at his screen for long minutes before reacting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Kyungsoo:** I’m back home.

 **Kyungsoo:** Are you free tonight?

 

Jongdae keeps his phone in his pocket and grabs the coffee mug. The seats are almost taken, so he sits on the back, next to a new japan employee called Momo. He sits on the corner, yawning. He wants to take a nap. There’s a bunch of temporary workers trying to look like dedicated employees and he enjoys being hidden so he can think about what he’s going to do.

This meeting is as crowded as the Avengers movie session that he and Kyungsoo went to. Being as tiny as they are, they ate more popcorn than really watched the movie. Jongdae didn’t mind at all.

 

Kibum walks to the small stage and he’s obviously hangover.

“Hello,” he taps the mike, sighing. “Is that thing working? Hello… too loud, now. My head hurts.”

The place gets silent. Jongdae yawns.

“Good morning, everyone, oh, yes, it’s working,” Kibum tries to smile, his fancy and weird clothing are too dark for a sympathetic mood. “I noticed that some of you are incompetent so I made this event today where you’re going to listen to lectured like you’re still in college.”

Some of the people look around just to be sure if they are supposed to clap. Jongdae claps because he likes the drama.

“So, basically,” he points to a man in the suit. “This guy is specialist in… well, I don’t remember, but he’ll teach you how to be productive at work so I don’t have to fire your lazy asses.”

Now they clap.

“Before I go,” he takes a golden star in a collar from his blue shirt pocket. “This one is for the employee who had the best results. Like in McDonalds, you know, the employee of the month. Here is for Kim Jyongder.”

Jinki runs to the stage, try to wave and smile before whispering in Kibum’s ears.

“No, no…” Kibum waves his hands. “It’s Kim Jongdae.”

Momo stares at him and Amber pops up from nowhere to poke him. Jongdae fixes his baggy shirt absently, looking at his boss in the stage.

“Kim… Jongdae…?” Kibum asks again, his eyes searching the group of people.

“He’s here,” Amber says impatiently. “He’s going.”

“Come on,” Momo pokes him too. “You have to walk there!”

“Okay…” he mumbles, standing up. He has to walk in the middle of a group of people that don’t see him often. Jongdae has friends at work, but he prefers to stay on his floor. Kibum claps, happy.

“Hello, Jongdae,” he gives him the golden star and Jongdae stares at him, smiling. “Congratulations! Your last clients rated you as excellent! Jongdae here never failed a work. No complaints or missing days. A model employee.”

“Nice star,” Jongdae smiles. “I would prefer a raise, but…”

They laugh, even Kibum. Jongdae remembers how is easy for him to be in a stage. He puts on the collar and touches it.

“Not yet, but you’re doing progress,” Jinki says, loud.

“Thank you,” he bows to both of them. He looks at his friends under the light of the room. He doesn’t feel anything, but gratitude. And for the first time, he’s sure he’s missing Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Jongdae isn’t sure is how exactly he noticed it.

 

His first hypotheses was the day they watched Sehun’s husband Drama. Kyungsoo was the one who picked. Jongdae was a bit tense after seeing the famous face, but then he smiled and said okay, because that wasn’t supposed to make him feel anything. It was just a familiar face, after all. It was a surprisingly wind night, a Friday night, where he would probably be dragged by Baekhyun and Minseok or Jonghyun and Amber to somewhere he didn’t want to be, to do something he was to sleepy to do.

But he fell asleep anyway. The drama was a bit predictable and Kyungsoo’s bed was too small to fit both of them without cuddling. Jongdae felt cozy and Kyungsoo was paying attention to the screen, quiet. Jongdae had no idea of for how long he was asleep.

He woke up and Kyungsoo was still watching, focused. He rubbed his face on Kyungsoo’s back, where his shirt was too soft, overused, and closed his eyes. But he didn’t fall asleep. Instead, he thought about things.

He felt… sated.

He didn’t want to be anywhere. He was… happy. A small feeling of… being in the right place, in the right time. Under the blankets with his boyfriend in a tiny apartment, silent and sleepy. Having Kyungsoo there, with no need of words, lights and fancy things.

Being fulfilled with just… being alive, well and right next to someone he…

He… loved…?

 

 

 

 

He felt satisfied before. Partying with his friends. At home with his family. Playing with dogs. Having a nice meal.

 

Earning a golden star.

 

 

 

But nothing like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Kyungsoo:** are you okay?

 

 

The second hypotheses, a bit nastier, was the night they fucked after meeting Jongdae’s friends. They, as in the great group of friends, were on Starbucks, as always, now waiting for Baekhyun’s fiancée. Kyungsoo called, asked if they could meet. Jongdae forgot to inform to Kyungsoo that he wasn’t alone.

Their meeting lasted two minutes; Jongdae could see Kyungsoo screaming with his eyes.

Kyungsoo was very polite. He handled Baekhyun for a whole two minutes and that’s something to be praised for. Minseok was more comprehensible and smiled when he understood that Kyungsoo wasn’t ready yet to meet Jongdae’s friends. Jongdae apologized and said that they had reservations and they couldn’t be late. It was a plain lie, but Kyungsoo held his wrist gently as a ‘Thank you’. Jongdae was expecting a night out; Kyungsoo promised to talk about a new Japanese restaurant.

But they went to Kyungsoo’s home. Jongdae didn’t asked any questions. There was something in the air, like an electricity wave and he doesn’t remember the last time he felt that level of _want_ in his life. It felt something like Baekhyun would describe; the absolute need to touch someone, to rub them or lick any part. Not being taken aback by beauty, not simply desire – a starving feeling, a warmness that rose from his tights to his face.

Jongdae wasn’t exactly a sex enthusiast. Sex was… a dessert. The prize.

But in that moment, he truly understood what that meant. To want and to be wanted back. So in the middle of “trying to get naked and to make out at the same time”, he contemplated the possibility of being in love. Then, he discarded it. He could feel that way out of love.

Kyungsoo sucked him while staring deeply in his eyes. Jongdae ate him out two times, one in the couch and another round on bed. He loved how vocal Kyungsoo was on bed. Jongdae was haunted by his little provocations, small growls. But there was always a ghost feeling of Kyungsoo fingers on his scalp, his neck, that made it last even longer.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo said, when they finally stopped.

“For the sex?” Jongdae mocked. Kyungsoo slapped him, of course. Jongdae knew what that meant, after all. To apologize for making jokes during serious times, Jongdae kissed Kyungsoo’s neck moles. Kyungsoo let out his low, deep breath sound and Jongdae’s dick twisted.

“No,” Kyungsoo said. His hair was wet and his eyes were shining, like a kid in a pool during summer time.

“That’s okay,” Jongdae said. He never expected to be the one who wanted more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Kyungsoo:** Too busy…?

 

Jongdae’s ideal relationship would be with his best friends. No sex, of course. He couldn’t deal with Baekhyun and Minseok at the same time. Even individually, he feels like it wouldn’t be his… thing. But the relationship, oh, yeah. That would be nice. The three of them just living together. Raising kids, taking dogs inside, doing nothing.

It was hard to admit, but Jongdae is always slightly bothered by them dating. It breaks his illusions every time. He would never say out loud, but a part of him wants his friends all for himself. To cuddle, to travel the world with them, to… It’s egoistic. And not fair to himself. Because all of them deserve what they truly want. Even Jongdae.

He puts on a song on his Spotify. He remembers Kyungsoo’s gramophone, a real one, one of the few expensive things he kept inside of his house. It’s new and blue, a colorful, vivid contrast to his old walls and furniture. Jongdae loved that thing as soon as he laid his eyes on it. He kept replaying songs until Kyungsoo complained. Jongdae loved the LPs and the old songs. It made him feel like he was living inside of an old movie.

“Is it here?” The Uber driver points. Jongdae follows the finger with his eyes.

“Yes,” he smiles. “Thank you.”

Jongdae is rating the guy when he hears Baekhyun singing. The karaoke is almost empty, so it’s easy to spot Minseok’s worried face. Jongdae walks to their usual table and puts his bag on the chair. Minseok turns to him, still frowning.

“ _… I came like aaaaaaaa wreeeeeeeeeeeecking baaaaaaaaaaaaal,”_ Baekhyun sniffs sitting on the stage. “ _I neveeeeeeeeeeer hiiiiiiiii—”_

“What happened…?” Jongdae looks down at the table, inspecting the empty beer bottles and the half-ate ice-cream. “He was dumped…?”

“No,” Minseok drinks from his bottle. “Jongin asked for a break, that’s all. You know how Baekhyun exaggerates things sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae snorts. Baekhyun is now hugging a random person. “We should take him home.”

“He will want to take shower together and then sleep together,” Minseok complains. “Are you going to do it? Because I can’t. I have class in the morning and he’s an octopus.”

“I can do it,” Jongdae nods, because he’s used to Baekhyun’s need for skinship. “I don’t work early tomorrow.”

“Are you sure? You should get there early to keep being the golden star employee,” Minseok mocks. Jongdae laughs, too. “How about your boyfriend? It’s been a while since you talked about him.”

Jongdae licks his lips. “It’s been a while since I saw him…”

Minseok stares at him for a moment.

“I see…”

They take Baekhyun home. They distract him giving him more ice-cream and singing songs. Jongdae have to scrub Baekhyun’s back and dress him like a kid.

“Eeeeh,” Jongdae complains. Baekhyun doesn’t want to put pants. “I don’t want you dick touching me.”

Baekhyun pouts.

“If you don’t put on pants, you’ll sleep on the floor,” Jongdae warns. Baekhyun finally cooperates, but he’s still a jelly in Jongdae’s arms. Jongdae tries to put him under the blankets but Baekhyun just flops on the bed.

“You don’t have to be so dramatic about it,” Jongdae sighs. “The guy just needed some space.”

“To put what?” Baekhyun complains. “I don’t get it. We were doing fine. What made him think twice…?”

Jongdae gets under the blankets and rubs his head on the pillow.

“Maybe your marriage proposal?”

Baekhyun raises his hands and stares at his ring.

“Nope,” he says. “I think he liked it. He cried when I proposed.”

“Happy tears?” Jongdae mocks.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun pouts again. “I’m serious. Something happened.”

“Didn’t he talk about it?”

“Not like…” Baekhyun looks up at the ceiling. “He just said he wanted some time apart. But… it’s hard. I’m in love. I just want to see him and spend time with him. I don’t like distance.”

“I can see that,” Jongdae pokes Baekhyun in the belly. “Get off me.”

“Give me cuddles,” Baekhyun whines.

“No,” Jongdae whines back, but he cuddles Baekhyun anyway.

“Where’s you man,” Baekhyun says. “Your tiny man? Is he under the bed?”

“Nope,” Jongdae says. “I don’t think we will see each other anymore.”

Baekhyun sets him free and sits in bed quickly.

“What?” He almost screams. “Did you break up and haven’t told us?”

Jongdae looks at him calmly, feeling the blanket texture.

“I guess so…” Jongdae says. “We haven’t talked since he came back from his travel. It was… three weeks ago? Or more…”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, making a guttural noise and throwing his head back.

“What?” Jongdae snorts.

“Tell me you’re not ghosting him. Why do you do that? You’re not a fucking ghost.”

“I’m not…” Jongdae shakes his head. “I just don’t want to talk back.”

“That’s ghosting,” Baekhyun points. “If you want to breakup you need to warn him first. Otherwise it’s just cruel.”

“I…” Jongdae knows it. “I physically can’t.”

He stares at Kyungsoo messages every time, like he did with Yixing’s, but he can’t do anything about it. It’s like his body was undressed of every deep emotion and he can only watch it passively. It’s not only fear of confrontment. It’s like he wants to reject everything, to pretend that nothing existed.

Yet he keeps thinking about Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**SOUR TASTE**

_My name is Kyungsoo and I review the places I eat out. I’m open to requests and questions._

_dyo_1201@ssssmail_

 

12.09.18

_The new dessert restaurant on Mapo-gu is really good. It was a surprise. They have different desserts and not everything is too sweet. I recommend the Tarte Tartin, it comes with icecream; I also ate their Apple Pie – very good indeed – and drink two Ice teas. They only serve small portions, of course, as expected of a place where you can eat with your eyes too. It’s a bit pricey, but if you enjoy comfort food, you should visit at least once._

_Kyungsoo._

  **Yoochan** September 12, 2018 08:44

_I always see people posting pics of their desserts on Instagram!!!_

                         **Kyungsoo** September 12, 2018 11:23

_You should do it too. The Tarte Tatin is amazing._

**Chen** September 12, 2018 08:59

_How about that broke-and-single list you promised to do? [2]_

                           **Kyungsoo** September 20, 2018 11:28

                             _Don’t worry about that. I have personal reasons to do it now._

 

No messages after a week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He opens the mail box.

_Happy-birthday, Kim Jongdae. We hope you’re having a really nice day! Keep on the good work!_

Jongdae deletes it and also the other eighteen bot messages – banishing them to the spam box. He scratches his nose and sips a bit of his almost-cold-coffee. He’s too late to pick more and he won’t throw it away. Sometimes one of his ice-coffee-supremacists coworkers asks him for the rest. He takes a bite of his cake; he got a piece from Amber and that’s the highest point of his day, probably. Baekhyun and Minseok wants to take him out for dinner, what would be nice since he’s not going to pay, but it’ll be sad, because he’s not in the mood for a party. He’s not sad. He’s just tired.

“Hello,” a voice says next to him. Jongdae holds the urge to scream.

It’s his boss.

“Hello,” Jongdae tries to fix his big sweater. It was kind of dirty, but he chose comfort instead of looking good, because he had his birthday as an excuse.

“Happy birthday,” Kibum says, trying to high five him. Jongdae is confused, but he high fives back. “Model employee! Did you receive the card?”

“Yes, I did,” Jongdae says. Kibum is using a really bright yellow shirt and there are people running and screaming because of a new superhero movie trailer so his senses are being attacked. Jongdae tries to focus again. “I… it was cute.”

“Thank you,” Kibum smiles. “I chose myself. It has a unicorn on it!”

Jongdae regrets not opening the card – in his defense, why does he have to open a virtual card?

“That was nice!” He pretends to be excited.

“So, we are very happy with your new campaign about the band tour,” Kibum nods to no one. “I mean, I love the designs you put on the sweaters. You did it yourself…?”

“Yes, I learned a bit how to it,” he nods too. “My best friend is the creative director of a clothes’ brand so I’ve learned a lot with him. I tried my best and after all, it was for staffs-only…”

“That doesn’t matter, it was a good product,” Kibum shakes his head. “Listen, I think you are too good to stay in smaller jobs but there’s no way of relocating you or giving you a promotion, so, I’ve decided to give you… this.”

He handles Jongdae a big envelope. It’s a big disappointing to open it and see that isn’t money, but a bunch of papers.

“Huh… what?”

“It’s a romantic travel to Jeju-do,” he smiles, nodding. “You’re free from work next week and there are reservations ready to settle for you and your… significant other?”

Jongdae stares at the expectantly – and weirdly comical – face of his boss.

“Ahn… amazing!” He smiles. He picks the mug of coffee and raises it. “I can’t wait for it.”

He spills a bit on his shirt, but it doesn’t matter. Kibum seems to buy it and points his fingers like a gun, in one of the most awkward things Jongdae has ever seen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s playing an old Elvis song and Jongdae wants to drown in that Ice tea. The waitress is flirting with Baekhyun and he’s flirting back because he likes to be flirty and at this point, his blood is too intoxicated by sugar and alcohol. Minseok is half crying and half eating and Jongdae can hear him screaming in his mind about his diet.

That’s when another waitress pops up with the mini cake.

“Happy birthday,” she sings happily. It’s just a cake with a candle, but it’s cute anyway. Baekhyun claps, but Minseok holds his hands before he starts to make real noises.

“Thank you,” Jongdae says sincerely, holding the cake.

“We won’t sing?” Baekhyun pouts. Minseok whispers ‘later’ and Baekhyun nods and fixes his posture like a kid being called out.

“Make a wish,” the waitress says.

Jongdae stares at the cake. He doesn’t remember last’s years wish or before. He doesn’t truly remember if he has a wish to make; when he was a kid, he wished for gifts and for the sake of his mother’s health. Now he looks at the burning candle and he can feel people staring at him but… his mind is blank.

To find out people’s wish is his first step at work. You can’t sell things if you don’t know what they truly want – because you’re never selling the thing, but what they represent. Jongdae can’t think about how to create an advertising without understanding what images, where it’s going to touch in the person seeing it.

He knows the elements.

Happy families sell butter and milk; good lighting, full house, funny moments, dogs and happy music. Successful men sell cars; night, freedom, soft and classic music, expensive clothing and a hot woman. Cute girls sell love songs; naivety, pastel colors, soft makeup, daylight and lots of hearts…

 

Ugly old women as evil witches – every body aspect as the external representation of their evilness. Dark clothes, tense classical music, shiny eyes and twisted smile. What you don’t desire at all.

 

“Oh,” he laughs. “It’s bad propaganda.”

“What…?” Minseok asks.

“Love,” Jongdae says, smiling. “I’ve been advertising all wrong.”

Baekhyun blinks, confused.

“Is… that your wish…?”

“Nope,” Jongdae closes his eyes. “One, two, three.”

 

 

 

_Exactly what I need._

 

 

He goes home by himself. Minseok takes a drunk Baekhyun home this time. It means that Baekhyun will call his fiancée a hundred times, because differently from Jongdae, Minseok doesn’t care about Baekhyun humiliating himself – he even finds it funny.

So, Jongdae walks. He’s not in the mood for talking to a driver and he’s not afraid to die on his birthday. Or any day, really. He accepts his destiny. But the night is a bit chilly, getting more and more close to the cold, as the autumn arrives. He likes the changing of colors… He keeps looking around, hoping to see anything worthy. Life could work like the movies and he could find an unexpected thing just by turning the corner. Or maybe not. Jongdae read once that Romantic Comedies had a negative impact between American women; they expected romance to be just like in the movies and they got frustrated by reality.

He looks down at his used vans. It would be horrible if people wanted the same thing, expressed themselves in the same way… loved each other just like everyone does. Jongdae himself never wanted big things. Never the most expensive bike or to be too famous, not to be the biggest soccer player or the president. He just wanted – wants – those small things that made him truly happy.

He’s getting old, but he’s still young. He’s broke but he has enough. He’s not that much, but not that little, also. He looks up to the stairs of his building. Different day, same…

The thing that looked like a trash bag moves. Jongdae jumps.

“Aeeeeeh,” he says. “What…?”

It’s Kyungsoo; he’s using a plastic raincoat. If Jongdae wasn’t still scared, he would laugh about how Kyungsoo looks like a kid.

“Good evening…” Kyungsoo says, bowing and he extends a cardboard box. Jongdae doesn’t ask questions, just accepts. Kyungsoo is back to his goth days, in all black, in that night… it’s better if he just accepts.

“That’s a piece of cake,” he mumbles, walking down the last degree of the stairs. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae says, inspecting the box. “I don’t remember telling you about my birthday.”

“You didn’t,” Kyungsoo says, serious. “I checked on your id.”

“Ah,” Jongdae smiles. He’s happy and he’s not good at hiding.

Kyungsoo takes a long breath. “I know you’re trying to break up, but I really need things to be clear. Can you tell me why? I promise I won’t bother you anymore.”

Jongdae looks at him. At the box. Back at him.

“It’s not that…” he mumbles.

Kyungsoo is patiently waiting. That hits him hard. Kyungsoo is patiently waiting to _be dumped_ , right there.

“I…” Jongdae tries. “I wasn’t… trying to break up.”

Kyungsoo only blinks; he doesn’t seem sad or happy. Jongdae feels hopeless. It’s a lot to express. His mind works way faster than the rest of his body, Kyungsoo’s gaze weights a ton and he was caught by surprise. _Candle wish, help me,_ he thinks.

Words don’t come by, but a soft drizzle. It hits his nose first and he looks up.

“Oh, okay,” Jongdae nods. “I got the message.”

“What message?” Kyungsoo asks, confused.

Three on the morning, light drizzle, no soundtrack, kind of windy and Kyungsoo is looking like a trash bag in his all black under the plastic, but he’s still pretty hot and Jongdae is still a lucky dude.

“I love you,” Jongdae says. “I didn’t want to fall in love again.”

Oh, there is. Simple words.

Kyungsoo nods and it’s frustrating, but not heartbreaking, so that’s a start.

“I think I feel the same way,” Kyungsoo says simply. “I mean, about loving you.”

Still no soundtrack, so it must be real.

“Kiss me,” Jongdae says, smiling.

“It’s raining,” Kyungsoo frowns. “Shouldn’t we get inside?”

Jongdae whines really loud, a sound that makes a street cat run away from them.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo says, angry, pulling Jongdae by the shoulders. The cake box is still in the middle of the embrace, but Kyungsoo isn’t aiming for a Hollywood kiss. It ends pretty soon, but in those seconds, Jongdae feels like he’s about to die.

“That was nice,” Jongdae says laughing, shaking his humid hair. “Thank you.”

Kyungsoo takes his rain coat off and puts it on Jongdae. “Let’s go.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae wakes up smelling something. He moves his arms and legs on his bed and enjoys the sound of the rain. The smell of Kyungsoo’s perfume is in the bed, so Jongdae just smashes his face against it.

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asks, entering the room. Jongdae lifts his head to stare at him accepts a mug of hot cocoa.

“Feeling the bed,” he answers, smiling. “Smells like you.”

Kyungsoo smiles shyly and gives Jongdae a peck on the lips. The day is already good.

“Don’t you have to work today?”

“Eventually,” Jongdae sighs. “But I won’t have to next week. What are your plans?”

“To next week or today?” Kyungsoo giggles. “Work, that’s what I’m going to do.”

“What if I tell you that I may have a romantic travel to Jeju-do ready for us to go?” Jongdae raises his eyebrows and then sip a bit of his hot cocoa. “Ah, delicious.”

“Then, I would search for good restaurants there,” Kyungsoo says, simply. Jongdae smiles. “I put your list on the blog, by the way.”

“What?” Jongdae spits his drink back on the mug. “What?”

“The list you’ve been asking for,” Kyungsoo says. “I revised my notes and I made a top five of the single-and-broke places. I know you don’t like too much sugar or too much spice, so it’s basically the plainest tastes in good food around, but if you ask for something cheap then you have to remember that some places aren’t that big and they don’t have—”

“How the fuck you know that it was me?” Jongdae is just staring at Kyungsoo, incredulous. Kyungsoo answers unbothered, rubbing one eye.

“That’s your name in every social media. You’re lazy with your phone…” He smiles, and he looks like he’s the softest person on earth. “Was it supposed to be a secret?”

Jongdae shrugs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**SOUR TASTE**

_My name is Kyungsoo and I review the places I eat out. I’m open to requests and questions._

_dyo_1201@ssssmail_

 

28.09.18

_I went to the Indian restaurant at Baghdad House on Jeju Island and it’s a really beautiful place. The chef is really good and the owners are a really pleasant company. They didn’t even complain about our friends making out just next to us. The price is just fair and the music inside was good too. The only problem was that I let my boyfriend choose the place and he didn’t know I hate Indian food no matter how good it‘s prepared, so I had to pretend I wasn’t choking on my Garden Vegetable Curry. Still, if you’re into it, you have to visit the place, seriously._

_Kyungsoo._

**Baekhyuneeeeee** September 28, 2018 11:24

_Friends making out??????/ we were a MARRIED COUPLE in OUR honeymoon KISSING_

                         **Kyungsoo** September 28, 2018 13:53

_I lost ¾ of my remaining innocence listening to you two ‘kiss’._

**Chen** September 28, 2018 11:26

_YOU!!!!!SAID!!!!!!YOU!!!!!LOVED!!!!!!THE!!!FOOD!!!!!!!!!!YOUR!!!!!!!LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

                           **Kyungsoo** September 28, 2018 14:00

                             _I just wanted to have peaceful sex after the meal and I couldn’t have it if you whined the whole time. You’re welcome. (I can hear you screaming, God)._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks Consorte <3
> 
> hi, I really wanted to write about love in a crude way, but chensoo is the softest, so, this is my attempt. Tell me what you think about it :)


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